Twilight A Different Story
by fictionstorys
Summary: Twilight written as a different story. This should and will hopefully make you laugh so hard! Read and review :) This one might be a little short, but the sequel Twilight New Moon A Different Story will be longer. Beware ITS FUNNY!


**I am a fan of Twilight. Not intended to be offensive to Stephanie the author of Twilight or fans. Just to be a little funny. Well enjoy!**

Bella's pov

The start of a new life. Leaving my mom and going to live with my dad Charlie in Forks, Washington. Sitting in the passengers seat of his police car. Looking at the trees as we drive by. Charlie looks at me "your hair has gotten longer sense the last time I saw you" I look back at him then he looks back at the road "yea its been a while o wait no shit hair grows". "ok sheezz" he replies. I start thinking about what school might be like whenever I start. Before I know it im at Charlie's house I get out of his car collect my bags and my big ass cactus plant in a small fucked up flower pot. The weather is a little cool with hardly a breeze. I walked up to the white house. As I walked into the door and I slam it right on my dads face. "what the hell Bella?". I then ignored him he will be ok. I started to remember things from when I was a kid, and then the bad memories from my dad and mom splitting up I tried to shake them out of my head. I walk upstairs where my room is. I open the door. My bed in the same place same wall color and a few more things the way they were from when I was last here. I throw my things on the bed and sit down and I slide off my bed and on to the floor "Damn IT" I yell. "Ha ha KLUTZ" I hear my dad say from downstairs. "Fuck you" I yell back. As I get back up I look out the window. I see my old friend Jacob walking up the drive way along with his dad Billy. I immediately jump on my feet and run down the stairs halfway down I trip and fall break my neck "SHIT" I yell **Flashback ends**. Ok lets not have that happen to my self as I come out of my short day dream I walk slowly down the stairs and walk out the door. Me and Jacob see each other he looks at me and we both hug. "Hey i haven't seen you in a long time" he tells me. "Yea me to" I reply. Charlie looks at me and point to an older truck with faded orange painting. "you have a truck its a surprise from Billy". I was shocked to know I have a fucked up pice of shit that I don't give a crap to drive. I look at Billy "where is my gosh damn mustang or something?! "O Bella your funny" he says to me. "Aw thanks bitch" I tell Billy. I get in the truck start it and then I back it out of the driveway and flip of my dad he smiles and I drive down the road. I decided to go were the Forks High School is and just see what it looks like. I notice the clouds are getting very dark like a storm is coming in. My truck starts making odd noises and I can barely see the school now because of the trees. I start slowing down and then my truck stops. "Damn you Billy" I try to start the truck but It won't start back up. I sit there in my truck and try to find my phone "SHIT" I say quietly I left my phone back in my dads car. I get out of the truck surprised no cars are going by. Then I get the feeling somebody's creeping up on me. I turn to face the side of the road my truck is on and see nobody there. I face the other side of the road again and the footsteps start getting louder. I get inside of my truck and lock the doors. I turn to face the side my truck is on and I see a kinda tall man with a grey t shirt on and dark blue jeans. He is up to the side of my truck in a heartbeat I look into his black eye's. Then I give him the finger and yell catch me if you can haha" Ok no seriously I quickly jump and unlock the door and run as fast as I can to the other side of the road to the other woods. I keep running until I feel like I was pushed down to the ground. I hit my head on a few rocks with pain screeching through my skull I try to get up, but then I am being held down by the same guy. "whats you running for?" he tells me. "let me go! also you have stinky ass breath" I yell. "shhhhhh shhhhut the fuck up! your not going to be getting away from me" My heart starts pounding hard I get a little scared. He leans down to my neck and I feel a sharp pain and I feel as if I was loosing blood I get tired and dizzy. I try to push him off of me but I was to weak. I try to scream but nothing would come out "what da hell?". I try to keep my eyes open but I can't so I close my eyes then wake up and see the guy laying over the side of the rocks and see a different guy with golden orange eyes. Everything is black. I feel so tired, and weak.

Bella's POV

I wake up feeling weak still and see a lot of people around me. "Who da fuck?" I remember the one guy with golden eyes, but the rest I don't have a clue who they are. The one guy I know introduces him self to me and his name is Edward and he introduces me to his family. Alice, Jasper, Carlise (btw don't know if I spelled his name right o well) Esme, Emmet, Rosalie. I say were am I what happened. Edward explains the whole situation to me. I learn that vampires are real. "O gosh" I think to my self. He tells me that he's gonna be taking me back home and that to act like I'm just tired and raped by a guy. and that nobody can know about vampires but you I had to save. I couldn't let you die I... He doesn't finish his sentence and we both start walking to the car. I get in and he explains more on the way back to my house. That his whole family is vampires and they don't hunt humans only animals he says. I was so relived of the fact that he and his family don't hunt humans I let out a huge ass fart. Edward gives me a weird look and continues talking... but there are vampires do go after humans. He says he knows were my dad charlie lives because he has drove by his house before. We get to my house I explain my dad that my truck broke down and that Billy should have gotten me a damn mustang but of corse no he doesn't. I left at the time of 3:00pm and the time is 7:30pm. My dads ok with what happened how my truck broke down and that I'm really tired. He says "don't be a klutz and fall off your bed Bells". "Screw you" I yell back. I go up to my room and lay on my bed before I know it I'm asleep.

Charlie's POV back to when Bella goes up to her room because she is tired.

"Thank's Edward for bringing her home. She is really tired". "No problem" he tells me. Ok well I'll see you around by. by. I walk back into the house and go to the bottom of the stairs. "Bella? Bella?" she must be asleep. "don't fall of your damn bed" I say to my self. I let out a small laugh. O well. I sit down on the couch and start watching baseball. Whoa is that a playboy on the floor? O nope just a "Bad shaped apples magazine" I must be getting tired.

Edward's POV after he leaves Charlie's house.

Charlie is a nice person to talk to I think to myself. I get into the car were Alice is in the passenger seat waiting for me. She looks at me "Edward your in love with Bella aren't you?". "No Im not in love with her. I want to fuck that girl SO HARD!" Alice looks at me with a confused look on her face. I mean She is pretty. "O I couldn't understand what you said" she tells me.

Bella's POV

I wake up to the sound of rain drops on my window. I get up walk downstairs and start to make some breakfast. I get pancakes, bacon, eggs out of the fridge and start cooking. I hear my dad's foot steps and then I see him walking down the stairs. "hey Balls I mean Bells" he tells me. Hey….. And after having a long conversation and eating our breakfast "clean up bitch I tell him". "What did you just say?". "I mean I will clean up". Thanks he says. After cleaning up his mess I hear my phone ring and my phone dings and rings and dings. "shut up damn phone I'm coming!". I walk over to see who it is and its a text from a number I don't know. The text reads "hey its Edward you dad gave me your number so I wanted to know if you would like to go on a date or something". My mouth drops open I run up stairs and yell dad get me a condom! "what sweetheart?" Uhhhh never mind. I shut my door and sit on my bed. I text back saying "damn right I would love to!" He text back "well good now im coming by to get you tonight at 6:00pm ok?". Ok I reply. I have nothing to do today so I go pick out what I am going to wear. Of corse I have not one single good piece of shit in my closet. I yell to my dad "we are going to the dress store!" Ok my dad replies. **fast forward to 2:30pm when Bella is picking out a few dresses in the store** I have two awesome dresses but I don't know what to get. I get both of them and the price tags on both are $69.99. O well my dad will get over the fact that this store is expensive as fuck! I walk out the store and get into the car with my dad. I say well this is it im hungry are you? Hell yea. We stop at this one restaurant and eat some lunch. **fast forward to 5:50pm** Im putting on my make up and Im wearing the first dress to go out with Edward. I finish up my eyes and im done. I walk downstairs and I hear the door bell ring. I say come in. Then the door opens just a little and it starts cracking and falls down. "oops" Edward says. I look at him with the look and he can already tell what I was going to say. " Bitch you broke my door with your vampire strength really what the hell?" My dad is in his room doing who knows what so we can go ahead and leave.

Charlies POV

**watching porno on his laptop** jacking off.

"ohh yea baby OHH YEA BITCH SUCK IT!"

Bella's POV

Edward looks at me and says "I think I can hear what he is doing and you don't want to know"

I look at him in surprise and I just walk out of the house and Edward follows me. He opens the door for me and and walks to the other side of the car. He starts up the car and we are off down the road to a fancy restaurant down town. We arrive at the Fancy restaurant called "Fancy ass place" We walk in and sit down at our table. I sit down and Edward gets a steak with shrimp on the side. I order the same thing with french fries and mashed potatoes. The woman takes our menus and Edward looks at me and says "damn Bella what is this some kind of fiesta of food fest? Shut the hell up I tell him. I eat my food and halfway through the meal he tells me about how he can read minds except mine. "So what is that fat bitch thinking over there?". Umm Eharmoney and dildos. Ew I say quietly. That person over there is thinking about money next person is thinking about sex the next is thinking about hold the fuck up I am not even gonna say what that person is thinking about. I sit quietly and wait for the waiter to bring us the check. By us I mean Edward. So finally we walk out of the restaurant of wait in line to pay the bill. We get into his car and take the longest way back to my house. We pull over into a parking spot and just sit there and look at the night sky out of the window. I look at him and he looks at me we lean in so are nose is touching. He kisses me but I pull back your lips taste like blood and shit. "O sorry I had a deer before I came to pick you up. Let me wipe my mouth off. **5 min later** Ok so now lets kiss he tells me. I lean back in and kiss him. Wow this was the best moment in my life. I started rub his chest. He backs up and says "Bella I can't" O true anyways we don't even have a condom. He starts the car and backs up. about 45min later Im back home. I get out of Edward's car and turn around to say bye but that bitch left. Screw you Edward I yell. I know he can here me saying that because he is a vampire. I walk into my house and find my dad asleep on the couch with the tv turned off. I roll my eyes and walk up to my room and lay on my bed and fall asleep. I dream of how my first day at school might go.

**The end for Twilight A Different Story A second story will be coming soon (Twilight New Moon A Different Story)! Hope you liked it! Please give it a good review.**


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